PROLIFIC WANDERINGS OF AN EMOTIONAL EXHIBITIONIST

Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a 1000 masks and none of them are me. Don't be fooled for god's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I am secure, that confidence is my name and coolness my game and that I need no one, don't believe me. Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in aloneness, in fear. That's why I creat a mask to hide behind, to shield me from that glance that knows, but such a glance is precisely my salvation. That is if it's ffollowed by acceptance, if it's followed by love, it is the only thing that can liberate me from my own self built prison walls. I am afraid that deep down I am nothing and that I am no good and that you will see this and reject me and so begins the parade of masks. I idly chatter to you. I tell you everything that's really nothing of what is everything that's crying inside me. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying. I would really like to be genuine, spontaneous and me.. You've got to hold out your hand. Each time you're kind, gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, feeble wings but wings nonetheless. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, you alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainy. The nearer you approach, the blinder I may strike back, but I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope, my only hope. Please try to beat down these doors, with firm hands, for a child is very sensitive. Who am I you may wonder, I am every man you meet and also every woman and child that you meet, I am also you.

Copywrite 1988

What has been and what will be, cannot be changed, cannot be seen.

For yesterday is gone and done, tomorrow lies beyond the sun,

yet is there reality , that fine line between future and past, that we define as now. The eyes have never seen, nor the ears never heard the falling of a star, or the calling of a bird. They merely transmit shadows, vibrations they receive along the neural networks for the brain to be deceived

into thinking that what we are see and believing and what we hear;

but do we perceive reality or only what we think is there?

Now a millisecond, from eye or ear to mind and another billisecond just for the brain to define, so what we perceive as happening is at least a millisecond past. We cannot exist within the now, are reactions aren't that fast. So is what we see, a piece of history , by time we can perceive or do our senses touch the future, which do you believe? Either way, it's plain to me that there is no now to be found. We live two separate times so why are we so bound and now that I've given you a thought to twist your mind, I must say excuse the pun, I'm simply out of time.

*This was a fun poem to write, how many of you thought about history?